Book Release In 2018

Its official now: My book will be written within the next 6 months and published by the end of 2018!

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Words have been brewing in my subconscious for years. It seems these words are surfacing, piecing themselves together  into a message meant for those who have stood at the edge of their emotions not knowing if they should take a step back or just jump off into the abyss of what they are feeling.

The stories in this book are personal. Unfortunately, experienced by far too many people throughout their lives.  My hope is to share my experiences with others so we may all heal and come to the conclusion our experiences, as tragic as they were, or are, can be used to help others see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Although this book has a Spiritual theme, my proofreaders tell me it can also be beneficial as a self-help book.

If you are interested in this type of literature, please follow along as I go through this journey. Share my blog with anyone you think would be interested.  Your encouragement is the wind at my back so please hang in there with me.

 

Bring In The New Year By Doing Something Positive And Compelling

What a difference a year makes

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All day long I have been trying not to think about what this day was like last year.  Let’s just say it was a day that would drive most people over the edge of sanity but I managed to skim by with only a piece of my soul shutting down.  This is the day that the true hatred for my husbands new-found love really settled in and made itself right at home in my heart.  The battle has been long, hard and ongoing but I am making awesome improvements daily and am humbled by the astonishing lessons I am learning in this journey.

 

You may or may not know that I am in the process of writing a Spiritual book that I intend to get published this year.  There are a few close friends proofreading and giving  much-needed guidance as this dream unfolds.   I am also hiring a lady named Joyce Glass “The Write Coach” to see me through this process.  As I am working on this book, my own heart is being taught very valuable lessons and there are a lot of questions being answered that I have had for years. The depression is lifting and being replaced with excitement, anticipation and motivation to strive for more of everything imaginable.

Back to today.  Today is New Year’s Eve 2017.  Just hours before the “New Beginning” of 2018 starts.  Today I needed to do something empowering and positive for “Me”.  A bit of an ego booster, I suppose.  I decided to do something that at first I was sure I was in over my head with.  It might be simple for some of you but for me, it was so huge that I let them sit on my floor for a week because I was afraid of failing.  You may have even seen my Facebook post about it.  A 5 shelf bookcase is the nemesis.  Not just one mind you but two.  I bought two of these.  What was I thinking?

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I posted this picture after putting that one piece together and said “What possessed me to think that I could put this shelf together???  It has been on my floor ever since.  Just taunting me with my own self doubt.

Today, however, I picked up the directions with fresh eyes and a “fresh attitude” and I understood every singe word of the directions.   The happiness and accomplishment I felt while putting this bookshelf together was a very welcome combination of positive emotions on this particular day.

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The more compelling things we do, the more in command we will be over our depression and negative thoughts.  No superwoman pose needed today because my positive behavior dictated my positive thoughts and vice versa.

One down and one to go!

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BAM!
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Finally getting organized
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One more to go!
               HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!  BRING ON 2018

 


	

No Holiday Blues Allowed!


For the past 15 years I dreaded each and every holiday that was supposed to be filled with joy, happiness and excitement.  My husband had and still has seasonal depression which made it difficult, to say the least, for me to experience any joy at all during these times.  There was never a Christmas tree or presents, no holiday dinners or parties with friends.  Just the two of us going out to dinner and wishing the holidays would hurry up and come to an end.

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Christmas this year, however, will be different if it kills me!  Christmas music sounds warm and wonderful to my ears and the hustle and bustle of shoppers is electrifying! The last few weeks I zipped in and out of stores carrying out loads of presents for my grandkids.  Smiling and singing the whole time.  Decorations light up the cities and neighborhoods like beacons of love and goodwill to all.  Being around my family this year is also like a homecoming of love and togetherness.

Most of us are missing someone we love this year and the sadness can find a way in if we let it.  I choose to remember my son and others I miss sorely by thinking of their impact on this world and so many hearts.  After all, I picture my boy with Jesus and I think he has the better end of the deal.

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One week before the day of giving to each other and of ourselves , it is tempting to reflect on the years past with sadness and regret.   I sit at my desk writing this blog post and  realize that I am looking clearly into the future with optimism and faith.

There is no room for depression in my heart today.  I won’t make room for it this time. It isn’t welcome here and it needs to be known.  Today, I make room for love, acceptance, laughter and happiness.

My family fuels my energy to love more and to love deeply.  I feel like I was a withering plant when I came here last year and they nourished me with their sunlight and plucked away the dead leaves I was holding onto.  The family God blessed me with saved my life by not letting my light stop shining and for this I am humbly grateful.

 No more tears of sadness on Christmas

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No more “making it go away for a little while”

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I am a child of God and I will get up every time I fall and try again because I have a purpose.

 

Merry Christmas 2017

Seven Months Too Late

He Finally asked me to come back…

I said no

The first 6 months of my life unhinged was an emotional rollercoaster but I am finally getting into my groove.  I think.

My husband came to town for a couple of days with the sole purpose of asking me if I would consider coming back to him, Colorado, and all of my dreams.  I said no.  I did’t even really have to think about it because when I do, I get that sick sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach like I did every time I had to go back after visiting my family here in the South over the last 8 years.  Colorado isn’t home anymore and neither is the house that was our dream home.  I have moved on and am happy to say that I am finally at peace with my Nomadic life and I think it suits me just fine!  My heart is actually full of compassion for him because he finally realizes that he doesn’t love her like he thought and they aren’t together anymore.  (Bawaaa) I’m sure they will still be a part of each others lives and I truly wish him the best.  Her, not so much but that’s just me.

Finding My Niche

I am finding that working seasonal jobs leaves me plenty of time and money to travel and kickstart my freelance writing.  My focus for now will be writing articles about Airbnb spaces and for a few months this will be a FREE  service so if you or anyone you know  has a space you want me to write about, contact me here.  Eventually, I will also write articles on other things like interesting towns to visit, covered bridges, cafe’s and other unique places.

I just booked my first Airbnb cabin to write about!   The Ouachita River Cabin Queen Room, Malvern AR.  I’m going to visit my ex-mother-in-law and will spend one night here and interview Mr. Bill.  Stay tuned!

 

 

Where Do I Belong?

The best way to start this section is to just start typing…I have so many thoughts running through my mind and so much fear trying to put road blocks up at every turn that it’s driving me crazy.  I just don’t know where I belong in this world.  If you read my blog from the beginning, you know that I left my husband, my home, my job and everything I had known for the last 15 years because he wanted someone else.  My life has changed drastically over the last 5 years and nothing is as it seemed.  Now I am trying to piece my life together using new puzzle pieces and the part of the puzzle that contains my work life is eluding me.

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My most valuable resources for information are my two sons and their wives.  My oldest son Terrance is a trainer for Samsung.  He literally worked his way up the ladder and he did it by absorbing every bit of knowledge he could about cellular phones back when they first came out.  He would print everything he could find on the subject until he had more notebooks on this information than he did on all of his school materials combined!  He didn’t know the particular turns he would make on this path but he took them as they came along and he is now in a good place with more opportunities still in front of him.

My son Tyler also worked his way up by starting at the bottom.  He started working for a lighting company when he was 18 as a warehouse employee.  This company stuck with him during his learning years because they saw his potential.  He was promoted to warehouse manager and even when the company hit hard times and had to cut his pay, he stuck with them.  They bounced back and he was right there with them.  Today he is a store manager for this company and is their go-to guy for bringing stores to an A-rating.  Next step is the regional managers position, I am sure!

So here is my dilemma and please send me your thoughts, advice and experiences on this matter.  I would love to see the input from my readers.

Is my personality holding me back?  I am a very passive person. People very quickly see me as malleable and not one to stand my ground right away.  When I was a young mother, this was not the case in my personal life but in the workforce I have always been the subordinate.  It isn’t that I don’t have leadership skills or potential, I just don’t have the confidence and it shows.

Fear.  That is what I have.  Second guessing everything from my age and how much time I have left to find my niche , to my ability to perform when things get tough or confrontatin occurs.   How does a person with my personality move into the workforce as a leader? What can I do to conquer the fear of confrontation? Of failure?  Dealing with employees on their personality level does not come natural to me as it does with some other leaders.  I always see myself as an equal or less than others and I get ran over every time.  When I think about the bosses  I’ve had in the past and what made them seem like successful manages to me, I see the respect and compassion they had for their employees while still coming across as the one in charge.  This is why I think I could do it. Reading people and picking up on their needs comes natural to me.   I just have to learn how to manage the personalities of employees in a way that helps them be their best while protecting myself from being ran over.  A manager doesn’t have to be stern 24/7 to get people to do their jobs but they can’t be a pushover either.  It’s a fine line that I want to learn about.

So, I am researching what books to read on leadership, reading blogs and articles on it,  I’ve even signed up for classes on Lynda.com to help me learn some of the basics.  If I need to take a class at the local college, I can do that too.  I have nothing but time on my hands right now so this is the perfect time for me to learn as much as I can.

My son Terrance has let me bounce my interests off of him and he is always there with reminders of what I have accomplished over the years.  My son Tyler gives me examples of how he handles confrontation with his employees and is teaching me different strategies to do the same.  Both of them and their wives encourage me to pinpoint what it is that I want to do and go from there.  But that’s just it;  I always come back to what do I want to do that is realistic?  I love to write but that won’t pay for health insurance.  Sometimes I think that the things I really love to do are just a fantasy in my head.  I would love to buy a truck and a camper and go do the “Workamper” thing and make money writing and working odd jobs at the campsites.  Again, that might not carry me through the next 10 years to retirement and should probably be a side gig for later.

The cleaning industry is what I have been in since I was 18.  Starting out cleaning in a hospital Surgical Unit, patient rooms and offices, moving into the hotel industry for 6 years (my favorite!) and finally, having my own cleaning business in two states for over 20 years now. Million dollar homes in Georgia and Colorado.

Other interests are in the health industry.  I am a certified personal trainer but it’s not where my heart is anymore.  I have worked as a Private Care Giver part-time for 15 years as well as working in the nursing homes in the Activities Department.  These things are close to my heart but not where I want to be at this point of my life.

So what do you think? I need thoughts that are outside of my own head.  I need help.        I need knowledge.  An arrow showing  “Look here”!  Anything that you think would help would be appreciated.  Thank you faithful readers!