“Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision…” ~Sir Winston Churchill
As I started thinking about this particular blog post, I started calculating what my readers and I have in common. There is a reason we all gather here periodically to see what each other has to say on common interests. The two things we all have in common are, we love to write and we all want to be happy. Some of us are adventurers and travelers and some are chronically ill, looking for encouragement from the words we share on our blogs. Even those that read my blog because they are friends or family who want to support me, have their own need for being uplifted.
“I don’t know about you, but to me, fear is an enemy to everything I am fighting to accomplish in my life.”
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
This bible verse was found on my sons nightstand when he died five years ago. By me, his mother. So yes, it resonates with me on a level I hope none of you ever come to understand. If you are not into the bible, I’m not here to preach or judge, I am just sharing with you, my thoughts on fear from my heart, through my experiences. We all feel fear at times and on many levels. If my son knew he was dying that night, I’m sure he felt fear on an epic level and I take comfort in knowing that he leaned on God at that very moment. This is how I am striving to deal with my fears as well, along with exercise and my trusty “Calm” app.
Self Doubt Is Built, Brick By Brick
The specific fear that steps in front of me regularly is one of self doubt. Where did it stem from? Going back through my life, I can pretty much pin point the incidents that started the construction of that wall. Those stories will be elaborated on further in the book I am writing but for now, let’s just say, I think I know the “why” of it. The question is; how do I undo the damage all these years later? How do I reprogram my thinking to knock down the brick wall that stops me in my tracks every time I try to do something that is “more” than I have ever done? For example, deciding to write a book seemed like a doable task but when my editor sent me a sample outline and told me to make one for my book, I felt like I needed to go back to 5th grade! Day by day, I started getting more and more scared which led to frustration which led to me throwing my pencil at the wall. Then I cried. I feel alone, like I am in over my head and that I don’t have what it takes to do this one thing that is so important to me.
But I “will” write this book. I “will” do the things I feel are important to me because somehow, I have the courage to try, over and over until I get it right. The key to that courage is in the sentence above. It’s important to me. Usually, when I try to do something new and I hit the snag called “it’s too hard,” I just give up. Common sense may tell me not to pursue a career in brain surgery but fear tells me I can’t write a book, understand an outline or be knowledgeable or fluent in anything.
Dig Deep To Find The Strength and Courage
The scripture above says to be “strong and courageous.” What do you, my readers, do to be strong and courageous when you feel depressed, or when you are preparing for an adventure that might present dangerous situations? How do you find strength and courage when you want to have a hard conversation with a spouse or adult child? How far down do you have to dig into your means of mental survival to find the strength and courage to come out from under the harsh demeaning words you were subjected to throughout your childhood so that you can rise above them and see your worth?
“Don’t Let Your Enemies Break You”
I have been giving in to my “Emotional Enemies” for years. A couple of them are thorns in my side and one or two have morphed into daggers. However, the main one “no decent man will ever love you” still echos in my mind to this day. Always right there to tell me that I will never be “enough” for anything worthwhile. These words, my friends, came from my father and it is the self doubt that I wear like a skin, to this day.
The purpose of this blog post is to make you think about what, if anything, fear is holding you back from? If fear isn’t your particular “enemy,” what is? Does it hold you back from the things that make you happy or whole? Go find whatever gives you strength and courage, dig deep and find what you were given so that your enemies don’t break you.
“And remember, do your superman/superwoman pose every day for 5 minutes!”